Flick it When You're Done.

When the glowing ember gets too close,

the body moves naturally,

to the rhythm,

of a memory,

of a thousand previous encounters.

And away it will go,

a million feet into the air,
a friend and a foe,

as thousands before it,

when it has nothing left to give.

Another box still on the table,

and another fool born every minute.

By Azhar ZA. 
12th Feb 2010.

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Assalamualaikum,


This was a poem(?) I wrote in my old blog. I think it's fairly obvious to most what it's about, but to me back when I wrote it, it was a double entendre (it still is, but it was too). My mum says I should write more often, polish my writing skills so that someday when I'm bored of being a doctor, I can stay at home and write a newspaper column, be a journalist or translate books, anything that has to do with language skills.

I'm still thinking about it.

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And when I see you,

I really see you upside down,

But my brain knows better.

It picks you up and turns you around,

Turns you around, turns you around.

I need to stop. I have to.

A Few Complaints.

Assalamualaikum.

I have nothing to write about. I'm just bored and unable to fall asleep. So I guess I'll have a go at ranting.

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Questions bother me because I'm afraid of my own answers. I have a complicated past. Questions only serve to remind me of it. So much that I've taught myself how to pretend I believe my own made-up truths. The only comfort I have is that the past stay where they are and I can move away from it.

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I have an achilles' heel  for classes at 8 AM. Not that I can't wake up on time, I just like spending 7 AM till 8 AM in bed, under my warm blanket, especially in this cold winter weather. I demand morning classes be moved back into the 9 AM slot.

Or on some days, this just happens.

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Whatever shit you people have to deal with, deal with it yourselves. I am sick and tired of it.

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I need a planner. Or a fixed but flexible daily schedule. I feel like I'm all over the everywhere. I need to get organized and disciplined. Yeah right.

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(Layan please)

Something's missing,

And I don't know how to fix it.

Something's missing,

And I don't know what it is.

At all.

Tido la lanat.

Inconsistency.

Assalamualaikum,

I haven't been able to get my lazy ass back to posting regularly (not that I've actually ever posted regularly for almost 3 years). Still a lot of things going on here in Egypt, political instability, demonstrations and protests all starting all over again. I have nothing against them for it, just that I think they should tone it down a bit, or at least make their minds up on what kind of vibe they want to give out.. On some days their demos look like a family day picnic, on other days, total war.

Seriously, where is this dude?

Plus my own personal demons. I wouldn't really call it personal since it involves other people and doesn't really carry any personal bearings to it, just that I choose to keep it to myself rather than have an all out public rant (a.k.a bitch-fit) at everyone involved.

Yes, I mad bro.

But apart from all that, I would say everything's been good. Recent exams went well despite lack of any consistent studying. Just last minute, desperate, eye-gouging sessions of pure pain and self-loathing.
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I miss Hannim. Meow is cute but he's no human baby.

Baby.

Cat.

Baby please.
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Maybe it's time? It's been a year already.

I'll ask mama and maybe let her decide.
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Again, I am at that time of the year where I find myself out of things to do. Searching, again, for something that I can really take up and enjoy doing on a daily basis. Maybe I should wake up at nights more frequently and ask Him then? I'll try that.
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"Even if you don't think you're a good person, that shouldn't stop you from trying to be one"
- Anonymous
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(Homai! Zooey Deschanel!)

This is me standing in the arch of the door,

Hating that look that's on your face 

that says there's another fool like me,

There's one born every minute, there's one born every minute.

Cuti-cuti Ejip :D