Now I Can't Stop.

Assalamualaikum.

And just like that, I can't help myself to another post. This is exactly what happens when I open the floodgates. All  I want to do is get my thoughts written down.

Had my first full workout this morning after 2 weeks. My break in Malaysia was spent stuffing myself full of food, now it's time to get all that out. As I'm writing, my hands are trembling from muscle fatigue and some bits and pieces just feel like dropping off my bones. But all in all, this is the best 375 pounds I've spent in ages on something I cannot eat.

Best investment I've made for the next 3 years

Now excuse me as I tremble my way across the hall to the toilet for my sunnah Friday morning shower.

The sun is coming up,

I've got a perfect view,

I've got the day planned out,

Even thought it through.

Wobbling, wobbling.....

Ikhlas.

Ikhlas dulu berkawan. Everything else is secondary. Remind yourself once a day and you'll be friends with the world.

Pasar Mansyiah.

Thishasbeendonesomanytimesalready

Assalamulaikum.

It's been a while since my last proper post. A lot has happened in the last 10 months. I prefer not writing much about it since much of it I'd rather forget.

For my recent few weeks, I went back to Malaysia for a good 2 weeks. I had to go back to get my mind off of things plus I had family to visit. Ate a lot in my time there. I never actually got hungry before the subsequent meal. A lot of upsides to my stay; food, company, my own room, food, family, cats, food, shopping for proper clothes, peaceful traffic, food.

Swensen's Iced Lemon Tea

Horlicks Mcflurry Crunch

Final Dinner

Fresh Kerapu Goreng Tepung

Cheese Tarts

And I met the sweetest little girl back home. First time meeting each other ever and she couldn't stop staring at me. Say hello to Hannim!

Hello, my name is Hannim

She stood still for once.

And also, my family's new cat. Very loud, very annoying, still loveable nonetheless.

Came right into the room and went straight into this position.

Merajuk tak ada orang bagi makan.

Plus I met an old online friend who I've been in touch with for the past 7 years without ever meeting. Had our first meeting over dinner on my first Monday back.

But on the downside, I missed quite a few things while I was back and I regularly got bored out of my mind at night with the jetlag and inability to sleep at normal hours. So I spent all those sleepless nights watching movies.

These two movies, I highly recommend.

So that was that. Best 2 weeks of my year so far. Haven't felt this great in a long time and I plan, hope, and pray for it to stay that way.

It's all you want, all you want, and you run,

but it won't change a thing

So it won't be long, won't be long, won't be long, long

Before you can make it sing

Having class in 2 hours. Back to life now.

Reset.

I've been told to start writing again by 6 separate people. I'm still thinking about it. A lot to say but no motivation to write. Maybe I'll give it a go in a few days time.

You got a fast car

I want a ticket to anywhere

Maybe we make a deal

Maybe together we can get somewhere

I officially start anew.

Dusting Off.

So many things to rant about, so little words left in my head. Deteriorating writing skills. I can hardly put two sentences together anymore. I have a short attention span and I'm am bored out of my head. I want and need to do things but they're either too tasking or near impossible. Yes, its the holy month of Ramadhan, and that is why people tend to get lazy. I'm not used to these weird fasting hours. They blow out sockets in my brain.

I have(had) a checklist of things I planned to do for the next two months in my head but I assume it got lost somewhere in the deepest parts of my mind. Either that or I'm just lazy or procrastinating. My life currently just revolves around editing a game that I might not even play. So yeah, fuck that.

My mind is tired. So many things I need to let out, yet I don't have a single reliable person I can let it all out to without compromising my current state of life. A stranger would be nice, but a stranger that can understand English fluently is hard to find here. So fuck that too. A psychiatrist would be too, but one within my budget should be seemingly impossible to find.

I wanna scream "I Love You" at the top of my lungs,

But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me,

You can only blame your problems on the world for so long,

Before it all becomes the same old song,

Off to dreamworld now. Have a pleasant Ramadhan.