Vacuum

Assalamualaikum.

It's been awhile since I've updated this blog. I'm guessing I don't really have the discipline to be a consistent writer. Seeing as how I have other outlets to dish out or vent away my thoughts, it's one too many a place, and running a train of thought like mine, I don't really see it moving to too many stations. The only reason this page still exists is because I'm too much of a sentimental person to let it go.
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I've probably blown a few fuses in my head over the past few days. I can't remember the last time I had all the time in the world to myself. Like the last time this probably happened, I fell into a repetitive cycle of inconsistent waking hours ranging from 8 AM to 10 PM and 4 PM to 6 AM, irregular meal times coupled with unhealthy daily activities.
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 I should read a book.
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I should visit Hyde Park.
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 I found out the same things we learn when we die,

I found out the truth is it's all a big lie,

I find that the words are hard to describe,

I tell you I'm lost here, awaiting reply.

I Waited Too Long.

Assalamualaikum,

The holidays have begun. 15 days and I probably only have a week's worth of activities planned. I have no idea what to do with the rest of that time.

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I'm in way over my head.

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Go with the flow.

And see what happens.

That's what I did.

I went with it.

This is where it got me.

And I still don't know where I'm going.

I never lied.

All truth were told at the moment they were told.

I don't play games.

I think I'm going somewhere else.

Maybe it's His way of showing that things are supposed to be different.

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Gossip & rumours.

It's been a while since I've been part of any.

Kinda funny listening to made up stories about yourself.

Keep calm, Be amused, & Carry on.

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Because if you want, 

I'll take you in my arms and keep you sheltered, 

From all that I've done wrong.

And I'll know you'll say, that I'm the only one.

Cuti!

Scumbag Brain.

Assalamualaikum,

Case #1

One of the things I've promised to myself to start doing is to study properly. Right........

As of now, I'm still not studying as much or hard as I'm supposed to. Despite staying back at the library after lectures on most days, I lose all ability and intent to study anything at all the moment I step into my house. Everything else  seems to be more interesting and more worthwhile doing. This goes on to the point where I actively think and look for things to do other than studying.

Scumbag Brain

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Case #2

For the past 3 nights in a row, I have dreamt of dreams I would rather not dream about.

It had a lot of my past involved and they all had the same theme; They were all alternate realities where the story progression and ending of my last breakup went entirely differently than that I know of in real life.

About the breakup, I am over it. The dust has settled and I am more than contented at living the rest of my life with the way things are. These stupid dreams however, they leave me angry, confused, and annoyed every time I wake up from one of them.

I wake up confused, spending the first few seconds trying to gather myself and put together the scrambled bits and pieces between dream and reality and matching them together so that 'dream story' & 'in reality story' don't get mixed up. This left me in a bad mood and bad state of mind since the dreams had a 'happier' alternate story & ending. The fact that I actually felt 'happy' in those dreams and those first few confusing moments after waking up is downright disgusting.

These dreams need to stop. They're unhealthy and a damn torment.

Again, Scumbag Brain

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.No music.

Hard times, hole in my heart, who stole the sun and

left me alone again?

Give me a guiding light, A stretch of sky and a hand on 

my shoulder, singing.

New resolution - get life (physically, mentally and spiritually) in order.

You Hide in Here Unknown.

It gets you through the day,

Puts you to sleep at night,

Your thoughts are your own,

Because you know nothing.

A death in the village,

or a murder next door,

Happiness is yours,

Because you know nothing.

A cheating partner,

and a broken home.

Bliss is your life,

Because you know nothing.

Apathy; your shield

and ignorance; your sword 

This world is paradise.

Because you know nothing.

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There is no hiding place on earth,
where loneliness hasn't been there first.
~ anonymous

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(you won't regret pressing play)

They press their lips against you,

And you love the lies they say.

And I tried so hard to reach you,

But you're falling anyway.

Stop skipping class.

They Care Without It.

Assalamualaikum.

I was browsing through imgur and I stumbled upon this;

and I thought; yeah, cats really don't give a crap about what's happening in your life, they just want you to love them.

So heres to the lovable furballs of my life. 

Adek;

Kecik;

& Meow.

Yes, I am undeniably a cat person. I love cats through & through. Not a crazy cat person (yet), but I'm somewhere along the way (probably).

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My current musical obsession,

You want apologies,

Girl, you might hold your breath,

until your breathing stops forever, forever.

 The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips:

 I hope they taste of me forever.

Yes, this has been a pointless post made for your displeasure.